Taunting Angelus
by Spunkles
Summary: Companion piece to my From the end to a new beginning fic (3rd chap) Just a few short ficlets about the different things Spike did to drive Angel crazy...just Spike having fun. :-D Read, enjoy, & review...please! CH 5 NOW UP
1. Spike's New Apartment

Taunting Angelus

Spike's new place 

Spike walked into the hotel lobby yawning.

"What's a matter Spikey, my boy?  Not getting enough sleep."

Spike gave Angel a glance, but said nothing.

"I should have let you walk or drive that wreck-of-a-car of yours here, instead of sending the limo for you… maybe that would have woken you up."

Spike didn't even spare Angel a glance, he was too busy trying to shake off his overwhelming need to go back to sleep.  Felt like sunrise had come and hit him hard, even though he no longer had to worry about such things as sunrise.

Not to mention, the fact that he had to come to the hotel and see Angel didn't make it any easier.

That his dreams were full of Buffy…sometimes Dawn and the rest of the Scoobie bunch…usually with him knocking out Xander time and time again, didn't help either…

Today he had waited until the last possible moment to get up… but…it seems it hadn't helped.  

Spike started stretching…relaxing and pulling his muscles…limbering himself up for kicking some demon ass.

Wesley, Gunn, and Fred came down the stairs…Wesley looking intrigued.

Spike looked at him and almost groaned.  

He had learned that when Wesley looked intrigued…it meant some ancient-y & definitely up to no good demon was going to try and end the bloody world.  

Like any of those poncy sods had the stones to end the world.  Look how many before them had tried and failed.

But the more ancient they were…the more they figured…'I'm the father/mother/ancient beast thing of the BIGGEST BAD.  I will achieve where all the lesser demons have failed!'

Deciding he may as well take the bull by the horns he said,

"Let me guess…There's a dark power about to arise that's going to spell trouble for the LA area if we don't get to some demon & wipe him & his followers out."

The rest of the group laughed as Wesley glared at Spike.

Spike meanwhile assumed his 'I'm-innocent' expression and tried to look angelic…not that he could if he tried.  Those eyes and that smile, although dead sexy, always gave away his true intent.

"Well… even though I don't much care for the way you seem determined to have to treat me…. Yes.  There is an ancient demon threatening ending the world."

"What kind of demon?"  
"A Tworthsin demon."

"What the bloody hell kind of demon is that?"

"A Tworthsin demon is one of the ancient foot soldiers of the Jamenthilkan dimension.  Their world is one of many that run parallel to ours.  This demon is quick, vicious, and has a secret weapon…"

"And just what would that be, Peaches?"  
"I don't know…it's a secret."

"Well you're just a fountain of knowledge…aren't ya?"

Angel growled at him, but Spike…just smirked at him, twirling a stake in his left hand.

Before the two could get into it, Wesley said,

"We're not quite sure what kind of secret weapon it has because whenever it uses it, we find the person dead, in millions of different little pieces."

"Sounds like a job for the wonder team then.  Let's go then…I don't have all night."

"Keeping vamp hours getting to rough for you Spike, my boy?"  
  


Spike sneered at him.

"No," was all he said.

He then walked toward Angel, looking past him at the staircase; he was obviously going up them, maybe he had left something upstairs and was going to see if he had left it upstairs or at home.  

Or so Angel thought right before Spike, ducked down behind him, first kicking his legs out form under him and then kicking him across the room as if he was a rubber toy.

As Angel got up, he was speared into, as Spike rushed him, knocking him off balance.

Angel pushed Spike off him, sending him flying, and, then bounced up to his feet, trying to regroup.  

Spike stood with his back to Angel, stretching his neck, leg, and arm muscles.

Angel rushed at him, attempting to knock him into oblivion, but was surprised when, just before he had reached him, Spike had, leaned back, grabbed his shoulders, and, running up the wall close by, vaulted over him, flipping Angel over his shoulder when he landed behind him.  

Angel crashed into the wall, leaving a giant Angel-shaped print in the wall.

He then walked over and hunched down in front of Angel, catching his breath.

When Angel came to, Spike simply said,

"Now, now Angelus…we know better than to piss off a grumpy slayer…don't we?  And due to the lesson…I'm sure it won't happen again? Will it?"

Angel growled, but Spike just laughed and hopped up.

He looked over at the group, 

"So…are we ready to go kill this demon or what?  I've had a nice workout…I'm ready to kick a lot of demon ass."

Gunn grabbed a nice hefty ax and flung it toward Spike.

Spike caught it in one hand, and Gunn twirled around a matching axe, testing its weight and his movement with it, and once satisfied that it would do, held it against his shoulder.

"I'm ready."

Angel looking very pissed off, but not saying much, just strode out of the building, into his car, and starting it up.

Spike & Gunn looked at each other and laughed, before following the pissed off vampire out the door.

Wesley and Fred also smiled and followed the rest.

***

A couple of hours later, after fighting the Tworthsin demon, a big scary green thing with a paralyzing spray, they trudged back into the hotel.  They all had some sort of mess from the battle on them…and most couldn't wait to get cleaned off…besides…they were going to get a treat today.

Spike had told them that after they had dumped the body somewhere less noticeable than the middle of the road, and definitely after they had gotten cleaned up, they could all come by and check out his new apartment.

So…about an hour later, Lorne, Gunn, Fred, and Wesley showed up at his apartment complex.

"What, Angelus not coming?"

"He said he had something to take care of…he'd be by later."

Spike nodded, not really all that concerned and gave them the tour of his place.

He was at the end of his tour when his doorbell rang.

He walked over and opened the door wide and found a brooding Angel standing on his doorstep.

Spike nodded at him, moved as if to let him into the apartment and turned to answer some question that Gunn had tossed out at that moment.

He turned back, a second later, to find Angel in the same spot, in front of his front door.

He arched his eyebrow at him

"I need an invite Spike…. remember?"

Spike gave him a blank look.

And then Angel knew he was in trouble when a few seconds later, a mischievous glean came into his cerulean eyes.

Spike's smirk was soon to follow.

"So you do…hmm…"

He was silent for a few minutes…just staring at Angel.

"Are you gonna let me in or not?"

"I'm thinking about it.  I'm here…weighing the pros and cons on you getting inside."

"Damn it Spike…let me in!"

"Now is that the way you were taught to ask for things?  Was someone too busy whoring to pay attention to lessons in school."

Angel tried to lunge at Spike…and bounced of the doorway boundary.

Spike laughed hard.

Gunn pulled up a chair close by to watch comfortably.

"You really shouldn't encourage him so," Fred told Gunn, sitting on the arm of the chair.

"I don't see you moving either," was all Gunn said, with a wide grin in place.

Fred just winked at him and they went back to watching the show.

"Should I or shouldn't I? Will I or won't I?"

"Damn it Spike…let me in…or I swear to God I'll set fire to your complex and burn the damn thing down."

"Temper, temper Peaches.  Now what kind of champion are you supposed to be with that kind of attitude?  Say it with me…'We are here to help people…not harm them or make them homeless.'"

"I'm gonna harm you in a minute."  
"Oh no…the big bad master vampire wants to hurt me…. I'm so afraid," Spike mocked in a girlish sounding voice.

Wesley couldn't help his reaction.

He burst out laughing.

Spike looked back winking at Gunn and Fred and smiled at the ex-watcher before turning back to Angelus.

He smiled at him and then, before Angel knew what he was going to do next, slammed the door in his face.

Spike looked at his hand, pretending to count down, and just reaching 1 when Angel pounded on the front door.

Spike opened it and with every appearance of happiness at seeing him said, 

"Angelus…glad you could make it.  Did you just get here?"  
  


Fred fell off the side of the chair laughing and Gunn joined her on the floor, sliding off the chair as he clutched his sides and stomach trying to squeeze breath back into himself.

Angel growled and began to curse at Spike.

Spike executed the perfect shocked expression during Angel's tirade before saying,

"I am so disappointed in you Angelus.  I don't think I've ever heard such words come out of your mouth before.  I have to say…I don't think you should be…. please come back later, when you've cooled down somewhat."

And with that, Spike slammed the door shut in Angel's face once again.

The same pattern went on a few more times.

Angel would knock/pound on the door, Spike would answer the door…and then…for lack of a better word…taunt him, mercilessly.  

After a long while, Spike opened the door and gazed at the very pissed off vampire in front of him.

"What do you want?" he asked him.

"I want to come through the door and beat you to death," was Angel's reply.

Spike grinned at him.

"Okay…. you can come on in then."

Angel rushed through the door and after receiving a quick blow to the head by Spike's kick, found himself back in the hallway.

Spike laughed saying,

"Okay…you've come… you've got invited…you entered my apartment…you tried to beat me…I kicked your ass…. you can go now."

And he closed the door on him.

Fred tried to speak…but couldn't get a word out…she was laughing too hard.

Wesley, unfortunately for Angel, was in the same position as Fred…. so he wasn't much help at the moment.

Gunn called out….

"No more…"

"No more what?"  
"Please no more… as much as I love them I… can't breathe…"

Spike laughed.

"Don't worry…I'm done for the day, was all he said before opening the door and saying to Angel who was just getting up,

"Are you coming in to look or not?"

Angel narrowed his eyes and walked through the door.

As Spike turned around he reached up and cuffed Spike upside the head hard.

Spike just laughed.

Before giving his sire the same tour.

When he had shown him everything…they had all settled in Spike's living room… Spike and Gunn, to play video games, while Wesley, Fred and Angel talked of other things, with Fred trying the video game once and a while, before the group finally decided to head to their homes for the night.

Angel left first; Fred and Wesley followed him, after Wesley reminded Spike that he wanted to check more of his impulses.

Gunn was the last to go, and Spike walked to the door with him.

"Well now that you're new to the LA scene, remind me to take you clubbing sometime."

"Clubbing?"  
"Yeah…going to different clubs."

Spike nodded.

"Wait…before that…you can dance, can't you?"  
"Of course I can dance, what kind of ninny can't dance?"  
  


Gunn gave him a look and then thumbed towards Angel and Wesley.

"They can't dance?"

"No."

Spike laughed.

"No…really?"

"I'm telling you man…I've seen them dance…and it's not a pretty sight.  When they start…people run for cover."

Spike laughed again…

"Okay…deal's this.  We go clubbing…but we've got to force both of them to come…. this dancing…I've got to see."

Gunn held out his hand.

Spike gripped his forearm.

Gunn gripped Spike's back.

And they shook on it.

"Deal" they both said, before letting go.

After the group had left, Spike walked back into his bedroom and found a plain envelope with his name on top of it.

He opened it and pulled out the sketch that was inside.

It was a beautiful one of Buffy…her face seemed to jump right off the page, her eyes laughing and shining at him that he had rarely seen in person, especially directed at him.

Spike sat down on the bed, overwhelmed by the picture and what it meant, from who it had come from.

After a while, he leaned forward and kissed the picture.

"I'll see you soon, my love," he whispered.

As he folded it back up and put it back into it's envelope he said,

"So Angel isn't quite the poncy bastard I've always thought him to be… not like I'm gonna tell him to his face though."

He smiled to himself as he put the envelope into his side table before going back into the living room to watch an episode of Passions before he settled in for the night.


	2. Crossed

Taunting Angelus

Crossed 

Spike wondered what he could do for today's amusement.

He had left Peaches alone for the whole day yesterday, and what a strain that had been.  He couldn't help it…it was in his blood to taunt.  Hold up…blood.

Spike smiled as he thought of the perfect thing to drive Angel batty for the day.

He arrived at the hotel a couple of hours later… during the day and when most of the other members of the LA crew wouldn't be around so he could carry out his plan.

Spike knew the day & time that Angelus would be drinking his 'prized' blood - it was Angel's special blood…the human blood that he allowed himself to drink just once a month because it was a special change from the butcher's blood that he usually drunk - and spent Angelus's sleeping hours engraving the small ornate cross, in the lightest of silver, so it couldn't be seen without close inspection, on the very on the bottom of the jars.  Then for added insurance that it would work, he took a small amount of holy water, he had acquired for just this purpose, and after squeezing a couple of drops onto the counter, placed the jar of blood back on top of it, where it was held in the special heating thermostat Fred had brought for Angel.

Then he settled down to wait for the fun to begin.

For the rest of the day, Spike got himself a kick.

He had positioned himself perfectly so he could watch Angel try to drink his blood, without making the others aware or Angel aware that anything was out of the ordinary.

Every time Peaches had attempted to get near the blood he would get disoriented and vamp out, backing away…and he had no idea why.

Spike was hard pressed not to laugh, but if this was gonna keep him laughing all day, he had to.

So he read his paper and watched his Passions, talked with Fred & Gunn…and watched Angel, snickering to himself.

After a few hours, Angel, who had had to drink some of his butchered blood so as to not loose control and kill someone, was upset.  

Wesley, Gunn, and Fred had all tried to talk to him, even help him figure out what was going on, but all to no avail.  

Angel started brooding on the subject.

_What is the deal, he thought to himself.  He had just checked the blood yesterday…and nothing out of the ordinary had happened.  Now, the closer he got to it, the worse he felt…not to mention…he kept vamping out.  He didn't have to do that when he drank blood…so what was going on?  _

_And why the hell has Spike been here all day._

_True…he's not doing anything other than he usually does when he stays here all day, except Wesley hasn't had him train yet, but still…_

_Hold up.  Spike hasn't tortured me for the past two days._

_And I can't go anywhere near my 'Special' blood._

Angel growled as he finally worked it out.

Spike knew the second he had figured it out, but kept his faux innocence as long as he could.

He looked up and looked towards Angel.

"What's wrong with you Peaches?"

"What's wrong…what have you done now, Spike?"  
"Me…what have I done?  That's just great…I leave you alone and you take out your unreleased tensions out on me.  Well fine…do that.  Only if you have any other aggressions to release…pent up feelings and what not…don't be trying to release them this way."

Angel growled louder, his face shifting between gameface and human face as he struggled to control his impulse to jump over there and twist off Spike's head.

Gunn was laughing… he knew Spike had been up to something.  He was there when they all had come in, but not for any particular reason.  Now he just had to find out what Spike had done. This should be good….

When he had more control and could control his facial features, Angel said in a short, clipped voice, interrupting Gunn's thoughts,

"What. Have. You. Done. To. My. Blood. Spike?"

"Why would I mess with your precious blood, Peaches?  Has it never occurred to you that someone else might have done it?"

"I know no one else would bother… just you.  Your determined to drive me insane, aren't you?"

"I don't know why you think that Gramps…you know I care about you," Spike said, squeezing out a tear and wearing a sad and mournful expression.

Wesley tried to turn his bark of laughter into a coughing fit, and had to flee the room cause he just couldn't quite do it.

Fred and Gunn had no intention of leaving the action, they laughed out right and sat down to watch the rest of the fireworks.

Angel had had enough of trying to reason with Spike and had, running at top speed, rammed him into the wall behind him.

Spike merely laughed, not even fazed.

Angel's face was inches from his.

Spike lifted his eyebrow and said,

"I thought I just told you to keep some of your impulses to yourself.  Maybe you didn't quite get my meaning, you giant poofter, but I meant that…."

Whatever Spike had meant to say was cut off as Angel rammed him against the wall again hard, leaving a giant crack in the plaster, and threw him across the room.

Spike rolled and bounced up, laughing.

"Thanks for that, Peaches.  I have to tell you…up close and personal is definitely not your thing.  For one thing…your breath is kicking.  You know they've made all sorts of advancements with dentistry and foul breath odors and all…you really need to look them up."

Fred and Gunn were on the floor laughing by this point.  They had slid off their seats and had fallen to the floor, clutching their stomachs.

Spike gave them a glance and smiled, but kept his senses on the pissed off vampire.

Angel ignored them completely.

"I'm gonna have to beat some sense into you, aren't I boy?"

"You can try…I could do with a workout," Spike said, bouncing around and stretching bit-by-bit.

Angel leapt forward, but Spike jumped over him and then kicked him in the back of his head, sending him careening across the room, into one of the support beams.

He shook himself, turned and launched himself at Spike, who was waiting for just this move.

Spike quickly dropped to the ground, on his back, and caught Angel's torso with his legs and his arms with his hands and then in a great fluid motion, using Angel's momentum, he flipped them, landing Angel on his back with Spike straddling him on top, where he proceeded to rain blows on Angel's head at lightening speed.

Spike then jumped up and backed away, waiting for the next round.

After a few seconds, Angel shook the cobwebs from his head, and they began to parry kicks and blows between one another.

Wesley came back into the room a few seconds later and noticed the two combatants.   

"They're sparring…how come no one told me they were going to be sparring?"  
"If you hadn't of ran out here a few minutes ago, you would have seen," Gunn told him, he had finally gotten his breath back and was watching the two warriors fight.

"And you missed the coolest move ever."

"What move?"  
"Well, actually it was two moves," Fred told him, her eyes not leaving the scene before them.

"Isn't any one going to tell me?"

"Oh…sorry.  Well the first one was…"

Gunn paused as they watched Spike spin and jump high and then low to avoid Angel's kick and punch, and then from ground position, push himself off the ground with his hands, soaring high into the air, twisting to an upright position and delivering an ax kick to the top of Angel's head, knocking the vampire out for a few seconds.

Spike used the seconds to get a breather, limber himself out a little more, stretching and whatnot, and waving to his avid viewers.

The last of which wasn't very smart, cause it caused him to take his senses off of Angel, who had just sprung back to life and delivered a very good two punch and a roundhouse kick combo knocking Spike across the room.

Gunn continued when Spike had risen once again, this time standing in Buffy's slayer stance to further tick of Angel.

"Okay…the first move he made was this high ass jump.  Angel ran full tilt toward him and he just leaped frog over him and on his way down, kicked Angel in the back of his head, sending him crashing into the wall."

"Angel used a pretty good body slam, but you know that didn't keep Spike still for long," Fred contributed.

"Yeah," Gunn agreed with her, before continuing, "and then the last move, before the one you just saw was oh so tight…he's gonna have to teach it to me."

"Well what was it?" Wesley asked, getting impatient.

"Sorry…okay…Angel comes flying off that wall, barreling at Spike in spear fashion, and Spike drops to the ground, on his back, and catches Angel, his hands catching his arms, and his legs catching his torso.  And before Angel has a chance to figure what the hell is going on, Spike used Angel's forward moment to flip them over completely, landing Angel hard on his back and Spike sitting on top of him.  Then Spike just rained punches down on him.  He moved so fast I couldn't even see some of those punches.  Those slayer genes really must be no joke."

Wesley smiled.

"Yeah."

If Spike was tired, he couldn't tell…the boy was practically bouncing, waiting for his next move.

"Why does it always have to be so difficult?  Why can't you just admit you did something to my blood?"  
"I thought you wanted to fight, Angelus…but if your tired…I guess we could stop."

'What did you do?" Angel asked, ignoring Spike's taunts.

Spike smiled.

Angel groaned and Fred went over to Angel's jar of 'prized' blood and swished it around, looking to see if Spike had put something into it.

Not seeing anything she shrugged and tried to take it over to Angel.

Who shrank away from her as she got nearer to him.

Spike laughed this time; he was unable to help himself.

Angelus, the 240 and some odd years master vampire, was backing away from a scrap of a skinny and knowledgeable bookworm like Fred.

_He should have been videotaping this, he thought to himself._

Gunn was laughing as well, but he went and rescued Angel, taking the jar away from Fred and walking over to the light to see better.  He didn't see anything until he flipped the jar over and looked closely at the bottom.  Then he saw the cross and burst out laughing.

When Fred and Wesley saw what he had they too burst out laughing.

When Wesley could talk again, he tried to take the jar over to Angel so he could see, but Angel kept backing up.

That set them off, laughing, again.

When he had finally calmed down a bit, Wesley told him, there's a cross here.  That's why you can't pick it up…and…if I'm not mistaken…there is water at the bottom of the container…now what would water be doing…oh…holy water."

That sent Gunn and Fred off in new peals of laughter.

Wesley shook his head.

When Fred calmed down she gave Angel a pitying glance and said, 

"I'll just take this and get you another glass…"

Then she escaped the angry vampire's gaze by fleeing the room.

Spike rubbed his hands together and turned to Gunn,

"Well now that was fun…so…are you up for a rematch tonight?"

"Just as long as you know I'm gonna stomp you."

"Please…I've told you before…and I'll tell you again…. you don't have nothing on me…"

Their voices faded out as they walked out the hotel lobby, heading for Spike's place.

Wesley and Angel were the only two left in the room.

Wesley gave Angel a shrug and said,

"I think I'll go upstairs and continue to search for that demon we were looking up yesterday."

"Yeah…you do that," was Angel's soft reply.  

While not very menacing, it still was pretty alarming and because he had really not shown Angel any real loyalty that night, he knew he'd be nailing a cross to his door tonight…just for added protection.

Wesley escaped upstairs, leaving a brooding vampire in the lobby. 

Fred came back a few minutes later to find Angel all alone.

"Where'd everyone go?" she asked as she handed Angel his blood, cross and holy water free this time, and warmed up nicely.

"Wesley fled from me, upstairs, Spike & Gunn went to Spike's place."

"How are you feeling?"  
"Like I could easily murder someone."  
  


Fred gave him a look, and then sat him down, not scared of his dark look.

"Here's your mug of good human blood.  Have a nice drink and then go down to your room to rest up…that or... DO SOMETHING!  I'll be in my room if you need me."

She told him as she casually ran up the staircase, stopping at the top to wave down at him, before continuing on.

Angel sat, drinking his 'Special' blood and thinking about the humans and not quite humans he had surrounding him.

He shook his head and then walked off towards his room…. until Spike strikes again, he thought…he should be safe for a little bit.  And with that thought, he went to rest.


	3. A Hair Raising Situation

Taunting Angelus

A Hair Raising Situation 

Spike practically bounced into the hotel, early in the morning.

Since he had woken up, about an hour or so ago, he had thought of the perfect trick to mess with Peaches today.

He rubbed his hands together with glee at just the thought.

He was tempted to call Gunn and tell him all about it…but knew that Gunn would be there waiting for him to do it…and all…and that just wouldn't do.

He was gonna have to remember all his old sneaky ways for this one.

Besides…Gunn might tell Fred…and although she loved watching him play tricks on Angel…she'd tell Wesley…and he'd have to suffer through a 'Why-it's-bad-to-play-tricks-on-the-mighty-Angelus' lecture.  Thanks, but no thanks.  One of those was enough to last a lifetime and he'd already had to suffer through two of them so far.

Also, Fred might let it slip to Angelus…and ruin his fun for the day.

Now we couldn't have that.

So, here it was…barley eight o'clock and he was creeping into the hotel.

He knew that Angel would be sleep…the sun was up and shining bright.

Gunn would be sleep…he was just as much as a night owl as he was.  Wesley and Fred though…he hoped that they wouldn't be downstairs yet, even if they were awake.

What he was going to do would take him no longer than ten, maybe twenty minutes tops.  He just had to get there and back out without being seen.

He crept silently across the lobby & down the stairs.  Twelve minutes later, he came up the steps again, with a huge smile on his face.

He was halfway across the lobby when he heard Wesley & Fred talking as they came down the hallway towards the stairs.

He stifled a laugh & sprinted the rest of the way across the lobby.

He had just reached the door, gone through it, and silently closed it behind him, when Wesley & Fred reached the balcony & began to descend the stairs.

Spike chuckled to himself.

Perfect timing.

He hopped up and did a Fred Flintstone clicking heels move before heading back home.

The scene was set and tonight…. the fun would begin.

***

Hours later; Spike bounded into the hotel lobby.

Fred looked up from her researching & gave him a wide smile.

"Hi Spike," she stopped & looked at the clock.

"You're here early…its not even sunset yet."

"I know…. what can I say?  I felt the NEED to get here as early as I could."

Fred raised her eyebrow at him, but didn't get a chance to ask him anything as Wesley responded,

"Have a slayer dream, Spike?"  
"What…oh…no."  
"Than what…"

Gunn came running through the door.

He looked around the lobby and then spotting Spike, came over to him, saying,

"Man…what was with the message?  Why do I have to be here so early?"  
"Trust me…you'll love it."

Gunn tilted his head & then nodded.

Fred turned to Wesley.

"Wes…Spike's up to something…. again."

"Well…that seems to be the usual Fred," Wesley muttered without turning around.  He was in to reading some ancient text & wasn't really paying them any attention at all.

"Wesley!"

His head came up and he turned to look at Fred at her shout.

"What?"

Fred pointed at Spike.

"He. Is. Up. To. Something…. Again."

Wesley looked at Spike pointedly.

Spike just smiled, but said nothing.

"Well…aren't you going to tell me that she's wrong…and you're not?"  
"Why bother…you won't believe me anyway."

Wesley sighed before agreeing, "True."

"Spike…what are you doing, standing around like that?"  
"Waiting."

"Waiting for what?"

Just then they heard a loud roar.  
  


Angel came tearing up the stairs a few seconds later, his hair sticking up and out all over the place.

Fred, Wesley and Gunn took one look at Angel and burst out laughing.

Spike laughed as well.

"Goodness Peaches…what's up with your hair?  Fighting a hair demon, we're we?"

"You," was the only word Angel growled before advancing upon Spike.

But Spike had been waiting for just this moment and when Angel was a few feet away, he ducked out of the way and sticking out his foot, tripped the ticked off vampire.

"Tsk, tsk…gotta watch where your going, mate…can't just trip all over yourself like that… things a vampire should never get to close too, could be on the floor…and then…poof…you're nothing but dust in the wind."

Angel bounced back to his feet and took a swing at Spike, who caught it and used Angel's forward motion to spin him around and fly towards the wall across the room, smacking into it and knocking himself unconscious as he hit it.

Spike was laughing with glee…as he ran into Wesley's office and pulled out the camera he had hidden there, for a different prank earlier that he hadn't done yet, out.  He ran back into the other room and waited.

He didn't have to wait long.

Angel soon regained consciousness and got up fairly quickly.

Angel ran toward him, almost full speed, Spike ducked him and turned quickly, moving backwards in order to get a good shot.

He found his chance and snapped a good one when Angel quickly turned and began to advance on him again.

Angel didn't even react to the sounds of pictures being taken; he had only one thought on his mind…get to Spike.

After shooting a couple of shots, Spike tossed the camera to Gunn who caught it and went to put it back in Wesley's office, in Spike's hiding place.  He knew about it, because he had been in on Spike's other prank.

Gunn then ran back into the lobby, he didn't want to miss much of the action at all.

He reached it just in time to see Spike leap up and jump over Angel, kicking him in the back of the head on his way down.

Spike looked back at Angle grinning.

Angel growled and lunged after him and Spike gave a shout of laughter before taking off, up the stairs.  Angel was on his heels, trying to catch up to him.

They could hear Spike running through the hotel; obviously they were fighting in between running, because at times the building shook, or they could hear crashes and things breaking.

Gunn was undecided about run up and catch up to them to watch, but just as he was about to, Spike came running down the hallway, still laughing.

This time, however, he didn't get a chance to execute any move.  

Angel had caught up with him and delivered a vicious punch to the face, which knocked him out.

When he came too, he was being dangled upside down, over the balustrade.  Angel, sensing he was now conscious, shook him.

"What did you do to it Spike?"  
"What did I do to what?  Hey now…doesn't this threatening a human life bother your soul a bit, cause if not…I say we get Willow to come and give your soul a touch up…it's gotta few kinks in it."

Gunn, Wesley and Fred couldn't move at first…it was way too funny to see a whacked out haired Angel shake Spike upside down.  And they still didn't know what was going on.  What had Spike done now?

"You know what I'm talking about Spike.  Where is it?"  
"I don't think I understand…."

"Damn it Spike…tell me or I swear I'll drop you head first."

Angel growled at him, shaking him to emphasize his point, but Spike just laughed.

"You want me to drop you, don't you?"

Spike looked down at some point that Angel couldn't see and then looked towards the floor.

He then glanced up to look at Angel.

"If you want to…go ahead."

"Tell me where you hid it Spike."  
"I can't remember…all the blood's rushing to my head."

Gunn, Wesley, and Fred laughed harder.

"Spike…I think he might be serious," Fred called out…as Angel vamped out for no reason other than rage.

"Oh I'm sure of it Sweetheart…but don't worry…slayers are extremely resourceful."

Angel growled more deeply and shook him more.

"What on earth did you do man?" Gunn called up to him, he wasn't worried. Spike would just flip himself, maybe grab onto something if Angel let him go, he was sure of it…and if not, he'd get there to catch his bud before he got hurt.

Spike's grin got wider and he gave another bark of laughter.

Angel shook him again, this time slamming him against the wall.

"Where is my gel, Spike?"

"Oh my God…he hid your hair gel."

"That's why your hair looks like that."

Gunn, Wesley, and Fred fell to the floor laughing.

Angel was done.

He was thinking about swinging Spike and throwing him across the room when Spike decided that he had tortured him enough for the day.

"All right, all right…I'll tell you."

Angel just gave him a glance, but didn't say anything.

"It's in your cabinet…I just switched the labels with another bottle that looked the same.  You know…the weird looking mouthwash one.  Which by the way, I'm glad you took my hint from one of our other encounters.  I've been meaning to tell you that your breath was a lot better lately, but I hadn't gotten around to saying it before."

Before Angel could give into temptation and drop him, he pulled Spike up and shoved him backwards into the hallway.

Spike bounced and grinned at him.

Angel leaned forward and growled at him before saying, 

"I. Hate. You."

"Angel…you wound me with your words.  I only do the things I do because I love you so much."

"If this is the price of your love, keep it to yourself."

"Now Angelus, you don't mean that…if I wasn't here…and didn't bother you, you'd be all broody and quiet.  But…see…here I am…and you're in no way, either of them."

Angel glared at him before walking off, and going downstairs, leaving a laughing Spike, Wesley, Fred, & Gunn behind him.

Gunn patted Spike on the shoulder, 

"Man…you…. whew…" Gunn couldn't get the words out, he was laughing so hard.

Fred smiled and shook her head, " I don't know what we're gonna do with you."

"How about some hot chocolate…and my tummy's making all kinds of gurgle-y noises…let's go to IHOP…my treat."

"Well…all right," Gunn said, " I'm in."

"Me too," Fred said, following them.

"I might as well come as well," Wesley told them, "let me go tell Angel we'll be back later and to call our cell phones if he needs us."

They all headed out to Spike's car and Wesley joined them a few seconds later.

As Wesley climbed in and they headed out Spike asked,

"Isn't Angelus coming?"

"He said he believed that he had quite enough of your company to last a few days."

Spike, Fred, & Gunn all chuckled.

Then Spike said, 

"Oh well…now…whose ready to eat?"

A chorus of mes rang out and Spike smiled as he floored it, heading toward the closest International house of pancakes.

TBC


	4. Angel gets one in

Taunting Angelus 

Angel gets one in

            Angel was fed up.

He was a good vamp.

            He did the right thing.  Helped people…and didn't eat them.

            He had the soul to tell him what he had done in the past was wrong and he felt bad about it.

            So why was he being punished now, he wondered.

            Now…he wasn't suffering because of a prophecy, demon, or anything else.  It was because he had one extra person on his staff now…. Spike.

            It had been weeks, months since Spike had appeared in the white room of their Wolfram & Hart offices.

            And in these weeks, Spike had driven him to the point of madness.

            True…not everyday…but close enough to it… Spike, or Gunn, who was his partner in crime, would find something…even something little to drive him around the bend…stealing his hair gel, putting crosses & holy water near his 'special' human blood, the ordeal he had to go through when he went to visit Spike's new apartment, the list went on and on.

            Angel had decided that what was good for him, was just as good for Spike.

            It had taken him nights to do, because he hadn't wanted to arouse suspicion, but he had rigged up the hotel lobby just for his get-Spike-back prank.

            And tonight was the night.

            Luckily for him, Fred and Wesley were both helping him out.

            When he had asked them why they were helping, Wesley had shrugged and simply said, 

            "Spike's gotta be taught a lesson."  
  


            He figured it was because Spike & Gunn had pulled a prank on him a few days ago.  He was kinda fuzzy about the details, mostly due to him being asleep during that prank, but Gunn and Fred had assured him that Spike had gotten Wesley good…and Wesley was obviously still ticked off at him.

            Fred, on the other hand, had merely said, 

            "I get to be in on one…and it looks like fun.  Sort of."

            Angel shook his head and gave her a small grin.

            He had told them both his plan while the other two were out fighting some demon four nights ago.

            Now… a couple of days later, everything was set up.

            Angel had rigged the floor to do something special when Spike stepped on it.

            Now the trick was to get Spike to walk over the trigger, or over the area near it, without arousing either Spike's or Gunn's suspicion.

            Wesley had gotten pranked, again, a few days ago, because he had tried to get Spike & Gunn back and they had realized what was going on.

            Angel and Fred had found Wesley hanging on one of the wall displays in his underwear.

            The boys had stripped him, gagged him, and then hoisted him up on the display and after admiring their work, left him there, knowing the others would find him in a couple of hours and get him down.

            Wesley had been livid, and Angel and Fred had to struggle to hold in their amusement at his predicament.  It had taken all of Angel's reserve to keep him from laughing then…it had been way too funny.

            The memory of walking into the study and finding Wesley hanging up on the wall by his underwear's elastic band, barely, legs swinging and arms flailing, was still enough to make him smile wickedly.

Not to mention, Wesley's tirade, once they had gotten him down, and the mention that he was gonna be pulling his underpants out from his nether regions for weeks…. courtesy of one big huge wedgie being hoisted up like he had had given him.

            Angel smiled again at the memory and then decided to prepare, the boys would be back in a few hours and he couldn't wait to watch Spike get pranked.

            A few hours later, Gunn and Spike walked into the hotel.

            "Man, I'm tellin' you.  The way you wailed on that vampire was pure poetry in motion.   You've gotta show me how to do that."

            "Like you didn't show some moves."

            "Naw…not like the one you showed the Michael Jackson vamp."

            Spike laughed.

            "Michael Jackson vampire?"

"Oh yeah…there was this vamp that was totally decked out like Michael Jackson. He had a wig on for the hair.  He had the thriller jacket.  The pants. The shoes. Hell he even did a moon walk before Spike started wailing on him."

Fred laughed.

"Yeah…that's what we were thinking before Spike took him out."

After looking them both over Fred said, 

"Well at least neither of you has to change this time."

"Yeah, we got lucky.  The demons we were hunting were fighting the vamps we ran into.  Apparently they had had some sort of agreement and someone didn't hold up on their end.  Anyway, two of the demons had already been killed by the vamps and we just came up and finished it."

"Well," Fred said, grabbing Spike's bag of weapons, " Gunn, help me bring these into Wesley's office, you know he's gonna want a full report.  Spike, you stay far away from Wesley…he's still furious with you."  
            "Like he could hurt me," the slayer shrugged.

"Yeah I know…but do me the favor and keep your distance."

"Why isn't he mad at me, I helped," Gunn asked following Fred.

            'He said something like you're just the follower…. Spike's the real problem," she threw over her shoulder after giving Spike a wink.

            Spike smiled and then turned to look around.

            What to do, what to do, he wondered and then he saw Angel walk through a doorway in the back.

            Suddenly, he smiled.

            When in doubt, mess with Angel.

            With a spring in his step, he started to make his way across the floor.

            Halfway across the lobby, he stepped on Angel's trigger and ended up hanging upside down, swinging back and forth, as the rope holding his legs together, held tight.

Spike hung upside down, looking around…and before he knew what he was doing, he was laughing hard.

So he finally caught me, he thought.  No wonder Angel hadn't stayed in the lobby for a minute or so… lured by a simple trap…I must be loosing my edge.

            Angel came running into the lobby, having heard his trap spring and was delighted and disappointed.

            He was delighted that he had pranked Spike, and he was now hanging upside down.

            But he was disappointed…cause Spike didn't seem to mind much.

            He was laughing it up.

            _Damn, he thought.  What good is pulling a good prank if Spike wasn't gonna get upset_.

            Wesley, Gunn, and Fred came running into the lobby and seeing Spike burst out laughing.

            Gunn, however, was the only of the three to move forward to see if there was anyway to get Spike down.

            Spike, however warned him back.

            "I wouldn't get any closer if I was you, he's probably rigged the floor pretty well…couldn't be sure to catch me with just one trigger you know."

            Gunn stopped and nodded, looking down at the floor and up at the ceiling.

            "Must be some good traps…I don't see anything."

            "Oh…those would be cloaked…he's not gonna make them so we could see them…what kinda prank would that be?"

            "You seem quite alright with it," Fred told him.

            "Well…I could be mad…but, hell…he got me fair and square…why should I be mad?  I appreciate a good joke as much as the next."

            Fred shook her head and then looked over to see how Wesley was taking it.

            Spike did the same.

            "Bet your loving this, aren't ya Wes?"  
            "There does appear to be some…happiness attached to seeing you upside down, hanging helplessly."

            Spike looked toward Gunn, and winked before saying, 

            "I think someone is still kinda upset for the strip and hang we did for him earlier in the week."

            "Ya think?" Gunn asked, rising to the fun.

            "I don't know why…all we did was…"

            "De-pants me and hang me up on the wall like a rag doll," Wesley shouted.

            Spike gave him a glance, a smile, and a wink and then said, 

            "Yeah…that."

            Wesley roared and stepped forward, forgetting the rest of Angel's traps…and was quickly hoisted upside down next to Spike as another trigger went off.

            Spike was grinning widely now, laughing his head off.

            Gunn was cracking up as well.

            "You two ought to be ashamed of yourselves," Fred chastised them and then turned to Wesley, "And you…didn't you hear him warn Gunn of the possibility of being strung up as well."

            She shook her head before appealing to Angel, 

            "You're gonna have to get them down.  We're not stepping over there…they're your traps."

            Angel sighed and walked toward them, barely missing being snared as a third trap was sprung.

            "Jeez Angelus, how many of the bloody things did you set up?"  
            "A few."

            Spike laughed.

            "Be quiet or I'll decide not to let you down," Angel muttered as he finally reached Wesley and cut him down first.

            "Hey…human here… blood rushing to my head and all.  How about cutting me down sometime soon?" Spike told him.

            "I'd rather leave you up there until your head explodes," Angel muttered as he made his way over to Spike.

            "Now, now Angelus…that's not nice.  Even my pranks don't last but so long.  Come on now…fun's been had.  You're the man for the day, get me down, my head's starting to hurt and I'm getting dizzy."

            "I don't know why I should bother…I could just drain you now and be done with you," Angel said, looking at Spike's neck.

"Oh no…the big bad vampire has me at last…. help me, help me…save me," Spike mocked in a girlish voice.

Gunn, Fred, and Wesley laughed.

            Angel sighed and whipping out a knife, sliced through the rope holding Spike, catching Spike seconds before his head would have hit the floor.  He lowered him down and then cut his bindings off.

            Free and feeling oh so much better now that he was upright again, Spike whacked Angel on the back and said, 

            "Good prank…but you do realize…"

            "What?"

            Spike's grin got wider before he said, 

            "This means war."

"Oh hell!"

            Spike laughed as he and Gunn headed out for the night, laughing.

            After they were gone, Fred asked Angel,

            "So…was it worth it?"  
            

            Angel thought about how he felt when he saw Spike ensnared and hung upside down by the trap he had set and smiled,

            "Yeah…whatever he comes up with next…it was worth it."

            "Just remind me to remind you of that next week, when he finds some way to get you back."

            "I will, I will."

            "And Angel?"

            "Hmmm?"  
            "Are all the traps gone?"

            "I think so."  
            "Be sure please…I don't want to be crossing the room and find myself caught hanging upside down because you had one extra one you forgot about."

            Angel smiled, and then uttered a phrase,

            _"Hasin wo ke…reveal!"_

            The hotel shimmered and then the final rope trap that hadn't been triggered was revealed, standing close by where Gunn had been standing.

            Angel grabbed a pillow off of the nearby couch and launched it at the trap.

            The trap sprung and snatched the pillow up.

            "There all gone now," Angel told Fred.

            "Glad to know," Fred said with a smile and a pat, before she went upstairs.

            Angel cut the pillow down and tossed it back on the couch, before heading downstairs with a ghost of a smile on his face.


	5. Spike gets even and then some

Taunting Angelus

Spike gets even and then some

Angel was worried.

It had been a few days since he had pranked Spike and so far, Spike hadn't pulled a single prank on him.

He had tried to taunt him to get him to spill his plan yesterday, but Spike merely smiled at him and then ignored him.

Angel was sure it meant that whatever was coming, was going to be big.

Spike, on his part, just loved the fact that he had Angel worried.

It was the first part to his revenge.

He had already set up the next stage, now all he had to do was set up the other parts, and figure out a good time to set his trap.

Luckily for him, the day came a few days later.

And it couldn't have been better, from his perspective. Angel had an audience.

True…it was just the people at Wolfram & Hart… but… use what you got, he thought to himself.

He had set the first part of his trap earlier while Angel had still been sleeping, and when Angel came upstairs; he came up roaring in rage.

Spike had emptied out his hair gel and left a note inside the bottle, saying:

I'm sorry but you've reached your monthly poofy 

styled hair limit. Please try again in a day or so.

Angel roared into the lobby, to come face-to-face with a group of his staff from Wolfram & Hart, with his hair sticking straight up and out like a shaken troll doll.

Spike smiled with glee, half of his trap had worked like a charm. He had called the associates up and told them that the meeting would take place two hours earlier, insuring he had an audience for his prank. Not to mention, he had quietly and carefully styled Angel's hair into its present wild state while the vampire had been soundly sleeping.

Angel's eyes scanned the crowd and came to rest on Spike, who was lounging against the wall on the far side; he was directly across from Angel.

Gunn, Fred, and Wesley, coming down the stairs, stopped at the balcony and took in the scene below… and promptly fell to their knees laughing.

It was the camel that broke Angel's proverbial back. He vamped out and launched himself across the room at Spike, determined to whip some sense into the boy for such a prank, when he realized, a second too late, that Spike's big prank wasn't finished yet.

In rushing across the room, he had neglected to check to see if any triggers were on the floor, and stepped down hard on the one that Spike had set. 

He was snatched up immediately and left to dangle about ten feet above the assembled.

Damn, he thought, he should have known something else was up when Spike hadn't bothered to move from his lounging position; he had merely smiled wickedly at him.

He looked down and found the former vampire laughing his head off at how well his trap had gone off.

Angel sighed.

'Let me down Spike."

"But you look so comfy up there… hanging around… like a giant bat."

Gunn, Fred, and even Wesley were gasping for breath, and Spike's comment didn't help. They were all clutching the floor, fighting to breath in between laughter.

The group of associates, from Wolfram & Hart, was also laughing. Several of the group had been recruited by Spike and they were thrilled that his plan had gone off wonderfully.

"Let me down this instant Spike!"

"I don't know…. you seem awfully perturbed… you might just take it out on me if I let you down."

"Spike!"

Spike tilted his head aside and after flashing a wicked smile, said almost innocently,

"Hey Angelus."

"What Spike?"  
"I told you it meant war."

Angel growled.

After a few more minutes of listening to Angel yell at him to let him down before he ripped his throat out… Spike finally pulled out a metal ninja star and tossed it at the rope holding Angel high above the ground.

Angel fell straight down, but was caught as Spike miraculously ended up underneath him and caught him with ease.

After setting him down and unbinding him, Spike quickly moved away, knowing that it was possible that Angelus would lash out at him know that he was free.

Angel sent Spike a look that said 'Run' before closing his eyes.

Spike took the hint, for the moment, and escaped the lobby leaving Angel to deal with his associates.

A few hours later, Angel walked into the office finding Spike and Gunn talking and laughing.

He glared at Spike who blew him a kiss.

Gunn and Spike laughed even harder at that and then went on talking.

Angel, listening in, heard them mention something about Spike's favorite, Manchester United, and some arcade came called Final Fantasy Four.

He rolled his eyes and went to the fridge, pulling out a bottle of blood.

He was interrupted from his task by Fred, who came in and hugged him.

Then she took that vial and put it back in the fridge.

When he was about to ask her why? She stalled him by pointing at Spike and miming that it was his special blood hidden so Spike wouldn't do any more tricks on it.

Angel nodded understanding and took the vial of blood that she had grabbed from the fridge.

He heated it up and then walked into the lobby area, sipping the blood.

After downing the lot, he went to put the bottle on the table, when he realized that after taking two steps, he couldn't move.

Fred came by and took the bottle from him, saying, "I'll take this for you."

She walked toward the back where there was a kitchen.

Angel tried to call out to her to tell her that something was wrong, but his mouth didn't open and no words came out.

He looked around the room and saw that Spike and Gunn were now giggling about something… and as Spike gave him a glance and then winked… he was sure that it was about him. 

_Damn… he had fallen for another one of Spike's pranks._

He had told himself to watch out… that it might not be over after the episode earlier this evening, but he hadn't watched out enough.

"Well… what do we have here?"

"Look's like a Statue of Angelus."

They both chuckled.

"That paralyzing potion worked a treat."

"Sure did… this is why I like my suppliers. Little cost and perfect results."

"And want to see one of the best parts?"

"What's that?"

"He's pose-able," Spike said as he grabbed Angel's arm and moved it up and then bent his knees down until Angel was kneeling before him.

"It's good that you've finally learned your place," he told Angel.

Gunn laughed before bumping him out of the way.

"No… it's more like. 'You are the greatest in the world Gunn, and I, in all my vampiric power, am in no way superior to the wiles of you. I must bow before you, oh mightiest of kings upon earth.'"

Gunn looked up to see Spike's expression.

Spike rolled his eyes at him before calling out, 

"Come on Fred, stop hiding. He's gonna be stuck like this for a few hours now. Come and play and stop being such a sap."

Fred stuck her head around the corner.

"A… Are you sure?"

"Yep."

"Well… alright."

Fred came out of the back room and unbent Angel's legs and reposed Angel's arms. 

When she was done, Gunn and Spike took one look at him and burst out laughing.

And then they fell on the floor as Fred got behind him and started singing, while making Angel move to the song.

When they could talk again, Spike could only mutter one phase.

"Do it again."

Fred laughed once before complying.

She gripped under Angel's arms and sang, 

"I'm a little teapot… short and stout.

Here is my handle… here is my spout.

When I get all steamed up hear me pout.

Tip… me over and pour me out."

The boys burst out laughing again.

"You know… I think that's the best I've ever heard my ex-grandsire sing in decades."

The group as a whole burst out laughing, ignoring Angel's evil glare.

They continued to make Angel bend to their will, putting him in various poses and taking pictures of him so they could show them off later as well as use them for bribery tactics.

They had fun until Wesley and Lorne strolled in.

"What the bloody hell are you three doing?"

Spike, Fred, and Gunn stopped midway through making a pose and turned quickly to face the brassed off ex-watcher.

"What the hell is this? Don't all speak up at once."

"Well… see… what we were doing was…"

"Yes?"  
"See Wes… it's like this. We were..."

"I can't believe you've stooped yourself low enough to join them on this Winifred."

Fred squirmed and let out a low whimper that only Gunn and Spike could hear at the use of her full name.

"No need to call her out Wes. We're all guilty."

Wesley turned his icy glare upon Gunn.

"I wasn't talking to you yet Charles… but you can assure yourself I will get to you in a moment."

Spike opened his mouth to say something when Wesley interrupted him, 

"I really **don't** want to hear it William. You are all in enough trouble as it is… I'd say your best bet is to leave and be gone before whatever you've done to Angel wears off. It will wear off, right?"

They all nodded silently.

Gunn, Spike, and Fred all looked at each other like naughty children.

And then took off quickly and silently, bolting through the front doors past the bewildered Lorne.

Outside, the hotel they all took a deep breath.

"Okay… when did Wesley get stones? Cause even I don't want to mess with him right now."

"You might have short circuited something when you strung him up Spike."

The reminder set Spike and Gunn off, chuckling.

"Oh… I didn't mean… " Fred realized what she had said, and then burst out giggling at it too.

"So… now that we've been put out for the time being…. What should we do?"  
  


They all looked at one another before Spike and Gunn said, 

"Go clubbing?"

Fred shook her head, but as she had nothing else to do, and wanted to be far away from Angel tonight, she nodded her head and looped her arms through the boys as they headed off for Spike's car to drive to the club on the farthest side of town, to give themselves the biggest distance between them and Angel.


End file.
